anna steegmann

Status Report: In Memoriam Roman Pitio

On April 4, 2011 I brought Roman to Mount Sinai Hospital. Language was my refuge for the twenty-three terrifying days that followed .I woke up after a few hours of restless sleep and sat down at my computer. I wrote friends asking for help and prayers. I gave updates following his 12 ½ hours of brain surgery. I told them about the diagnosis of Schwannoma and my relief at finding out that it was a benign tumor. I wrote about the complications and setbacks, his optimism and his plans for the future. He was looking forward to Christmas in Goerlitz, Easter in Vienna, and summer in Venice. He promised to take me for a ride on the Siberian railroad once he retired.

 

On Wednesday, April 27 I wrote the final message: Roman died this afternoon. I wrote the obituary for his memorial service.Then the English language failed me. Struck speechless I could barely write. Living in a new land, the land of the grieving, I could not shape my emotions into words and sentences. They were too raw and too unruly for words. Roman was my husband, my best friend, my life companion for twenty-five years. A loss beyond words.

 

I hope to find my ​way back to writing an​d ​to make him proud but going on living and writing.

 

 

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